Porcelain
by cieltatoyan
Summary: How does Finn handle Rachel's Shelby problem?


A/N: Yes, I know, I never write (honestly, because everyone out there is better than me), but I just got this idea when I was falling asleep and if I don't write it, I'll go insane. My inspiration was a song called Porcelain by Helen Jane Long.

He knew something bad was bound to have happened sooner or later.

Shelby was back in town and they had run into her at the grocery store while picking up a few things for Carole. Rachel hadn't shown any trace of emotion until they got in the truck and he could decipher a couple of sniffles over the sound of the radio playing in the background.

When they finally reached his room, he spoke. "You wanna talk about it?"

"Talk about what, Finn?" She answered after a few seconds, plopping down on the bed next to him.

"Shel—Rachel?"

She didn't say anything. She didn't _do _anything. She was as still as a statue, but he could see the tears leaking down her face, her eyes squeezed shut, hands clutching the side of the bed as if her life depended on it.

Slowly, cautiously, Finn spoke, "Rachel, she doesn—"

"Why does it hurt so much? She left over a year ago, Finn, it shouldn't still hurt. Seeing her with Beth—it shouldn't make me feel like this. I should have moved on by now."

"Rach—"

She shook her head as she moved to lie down on his bed, and then simply stared at the ceiling. After a few seconds, she succumbed to sobs.

Finn moved so he was lying across from her and hugged her to him. "Shh, it'll be okay." She choked out another sob as Finn placed a kiss to her forehead. "I love you. It's all going to be okay."

"When?"

"I—I don't know, Rach, but—"

"_When _is it going to be okay? _When _am I finally going to be someone's first choice? The best at something? I love singing, but is that all I'll ever be? My voice?"

"You're so much more than that."

"Oh really? How? It's not like this is that much different than singing, but I'm not the best dancer. I'm good, but Brittany's better. I'm smart, but I'm not at, say, Artie's level. I—I'm not very pretty, Quinn is easily more beautiful. And...a—and—I _must _be a horrible person."

"Rachel, stop." He was looking straight into her red-rimmed eyes now. "I never want to hear you say any of that ever again. You're a great dancer, first of all. Everyone is, compared to me. You're _so _smart, Rach. If it weren't for you, I wouldn't have been able to raise my grades _at all _last year. Even after the break up" she winced, "you stayed and helped me. I know it wasn't just to spend time with me. You genuinely wanted to help and you did. That gets me into how _thoughtful _you are of other people, Rachel. Even when someone's been horrible to you, you don't give it a second thought as to whether or not you should help them. You're so incredible and _gentle _when someone's hurt. You're a beautiful person, Rach, inside and out. You have the biggest heart of anybody I've ever met.

As for looks? I can't believe you still think any other girl could ever be more beautiful than you Rachel, _especially _in my eyes! Your lips, God, I could never get tired of kissing you." He pressed their lips together. "And your eyes. They're so radiant and dazzling. I hate seeing you broken because when your eyes lose their sparkle for that short period, it's like you're a completely different person and I hate it." She shut her eyes as he gently caressed her eyelids with his lips. "Your nose. It makes you _you_. It gives you personality! This past year when you were considering getting a nose job, I would've done anything in my power to stop it. I wanted to kill myself for hurting you and even more for letting you feel so insecure that you'd want another nose when yours was so perfect. Why would you want Quinn's nose? I didn't need my girl to downgrade when she's got the best she can have." He kissed her nose and she sighed.

"Well, I wasn't exactly your girl back then. And I can't believe you called me beautiful in front of—"

"You're the most beautiful girl I have _ever _laid eyes on. Whenever I look at you, my heart starts beating about ten times faster than usual. Whenever I kiss you, the most subtle thing that happens is when the butterflies invade my stomach. Other things happen too that should make you realize how attracted to you I am. You're not just _pretty _like Quinn. You're not just _hot_ like Santana. You're _beautiful_, you're _gorgeous_, and you're _sexy_. You're all I'll ever need. You're also my best friend, and a pretty freakin' good one at that. You never judge or get irritated easily. If there's a word I don't know, you're quick to correct, but you're so nice about it. You'd never yell at me for being an idiot like other people have."

"Finn... I—"

"You're living proof that not everybody needs a mother figure."

"But Finn, look at you! You're just like your mother! It's like you're modeled after her! You're both so amazing and if it weren't for her, you wouldn't be _you_. I could've probably been so much more if she had just given me a _chance_. I could be like her—"

Why would you wanna be like her?"

"Why not?"

"She's horrible! She gave you up to be on Broadway and then came back 16 years later because it didn't work out! She didn't care how you ended up, just as long as she figured things out for herself. She's crazy, Rach."

"Can't you see, Finn? _So am I_. I'm selfish and horrible and crazy and—"

"No. You're not. And when you are, it's just to hide the fact that you're hurt. Plus, I love your crazy. It's kinda the best thing about you. How you get so excited and passionate about things. It's adorable. _You're _adorable. I can't understand how anybody could ever hate you or not want you. Which is kind of why I think your mother is crazy."

"She's not. I'm never anyone's first choice. I should be used to it by now."

They were both quiet for a minute.

"You know what? You're _my_ first choice. Always." He said. "You're involved in the majority of decisions I make. You kinda have been since we met. Rachel, sometimes I don't think you know how much I love you. How _in love _with you I am. I'd do anything for you. If your mother is a selfish bitch, well screw her! You don't deserve the crap she's dishing out. You, _of all people, _deserve the best and the best isn't her."

Rachel froze for a second, as if thinking, and her eyes landed on Finn's lips. After a moment, she attacked him with kisses. "I love you so much Finn Hudson." Kiss. "Thank," kiss, "you." Thank you for being my best friend," kiss, "and being there for me," kiss, "always. Thank you for not letting me sulk alone about this. Thank you _so much _for loving me. I couldn't have asked for a better boyfriend. I don't _want _to ask for a better boyfriend. How I got so lucky finding someone as amazing as you, I'll never know. But I obviously did something right. Thank you _so _much for giving me a chance when so many other people haven't." She held him tight and nuzzled her face in his neck before whispering in his ear, "You're my first choice, too."

"Rach?"

"Mm?"

"I meant it, ya know."

"Which part?"

"Well, all of it but...you really are the most beautiful girl I've ever laid eyes on."

"I wish I could say the same." She chuckled. "For now, you're just the hottest, cutest, sexiest guy, hm, ever. That okay with you?"

His eyes widened for a second before he turned them around so that he was now on top of her and kissing her neck before breathing out an, "I love you."

A special thank you to Shelby and Lauren (lea—sexual and openyourhearttomebaby on tumblr. Go follow them!) for beta-ing and just always being there. Review?


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